I've decided to start a new blog!

I'm keeping this blog as my family blog, and beginning another blog for my creative writing. The new blog is called, Just Pondering... The address is: www.asafeplaceformyhearttoponder.blogspot.com. If you forget the address, you can just click "my profile" and it will be listed under "my blogs".  Join me! 

Video: Dancing in the wind

Let's go fly a kite!

Little Miss Diva!

Video: Emma learned to do the monkey bars!

Sunday Fellowship Meal...

Are you playing in tune?

If we look closely, we'll find that life is full of parables of God's kingdom. Twice a week, Ellie has violin lessons. As I sit and watch, I notice that the goal is to make beautiful music. That's done as each one does their part and plays in tune as they follow the master. When someone is out of tune or is doing their own thing, the master gently corrects them for her goal is to help each student play to their fullest potential. She also has advanced students who walk around among the students in class showing them how to hold their bows correctly, helping them tune their instruments, showing them how to sit properly with their backs straight and feet on the floor, or helping them keep time with the music. They have all been taught these things, but sometimes they get lazy, forget, or become distracted. Often the students will ask each other for help. They whisper, "What page are we on? Can I barrow your pencil to write in that note?" They are all working toward the same goal. They are all trying to make beautiful music together. They're not in competition with each other, but all on the same side. Each one taking the responsibility to follow the best they can, but also helping each other play in tune with the song.


A few weeks ago, our small informal group met for it's weekly gathering. We were discussing the broad and narrow road in Mathew 7. "Wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter it, but small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life and only a few find it." Wow, I just noticed when I typed that scripture, it doesn't say "many will enter". It says "many enter"... as in now! What if this scripture isn't talking about ultimate destination? What if it's talking about how easy it is to live a destructive life now and miss out on the full life God intended for us. How easy it is for us to live our lives leaning on our own understanding instead of trusting that our creator who loves us wants to lead us into a full life if we will just follow him. Maybe it's warning us that few people live their lives looking to him for guidance and being led into a full life. Instead they trust in their own ways and end up destroying their lives. It's our choice. John 10:10 says, "The thief comes to kill, steal, and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have it to the full." The context of that whole passage is about sheep listening to the shepherd's voice and following him as he leads them into a full life. The enemy wants to destroy them, but the shepherd came so he could lead them into a full life. We weren't created to live independent of our father or each other. We make a mess of our lives when we do. When we live intentionally following our shepherd, he will lead us to the green pastures and cool waters that restore our soul (Psalm 23). He's playing the most beautiful song and invites us to be a part of it.  How easy it is to do our own thing and play out of tune. Sometimes we think we could write a better song. We don't trust the master. It takes intention to follow the master and stay in tune. When we are in tune, it just feels right. We are in sync with the master, each other, and the beautiful song. It's like, Ahhh, now this is how it was meant to be played, this is how life was meant to be lived. It's exhilarating, fulfilling, it's what we were created for. 


Another thought that came to me was that this is Ellie's first year in violin. A first year student plays nothing like the master. In fact, sometimes it's hard to tell what song she's even playing. It would be unfair to expect her to perform like a master violinist at this stage. She still has so much to learn, but she's moving in that direction. At this point she makes lots of mistakes. Those mistakes can be her greatest teachers. She needs the freedom to make those mistakes; that's part of the learning and growing process. Too often we try to prevent our kids from falling and making mistakes. We think we're helping them, protecting them. We forget that it's a process... a journey... their journey. It takes time to get there. We need to remember, they're in good hands.


Just a little side note... I notice that I begin a lot of thoughts with "what if?", and "maybe". I'm much less dogmatic than I used to be. I used to think I knew everything. That doesn't leave much room for growth. Growth means you learn something you didn't know. Often that means letting go of what we think we know. To do that, we must be willing to hold things loosely, with humility. I think we're afraid to do that because we fear we may be led astray or be blown about by every wind of teaching. We can avoid that by holding things up to the scriptures (Acts 17) and placing them in context with the whole of the bible and viewing everything through the lens of Jesus being the perfect reflection of God who is LOVE.  It frees me to wrestle with scripture and be honest with my limited understanding. 1 Cor. 13 says, Now we see but a poor reflection, eventually we will see fully. Phil 3 says, And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you, only let us live up to what we've already attained. These scriptures give the perfectionist in me so much peace. God doesn't expect me to know everything. He continually invites me into knowing him deeper. I seek truth because it helps me know him more deeply and leads me into greater peace, joy, and freedom. It carries me into a fuller life. I don't have to know all truth, I can rest in the fact that He does. He's the master musician, I just follow his lead and become part of his beautiful song. 

Ellie the electric eel!

Ellie was an electric eel in her 3rd grade spring performance today called Under the Sea.  She did 2 performances... a morning and an evening.  I went this morning and Keith, Emma, Alex, Drew, and Steven (Drew's friend) went tonight. Ellie's been practicing for weeks and has been so looking forward to this. She sang her little heart out! It was adorable!

Ellie's 3rd Grade Spring Performance... Under the Sea

Why is that tape across your face?

Last night at dinner, Buster scratched on the the door to go out. When Keith let him out, three moths came in. They hung out around the light until Keith caught them and threw them back out. Tonight as we were eating dinner, Buster scratched on the door again. I got up and let him out and in came a moth. Emma, with her bug phobia, actually stayed pretty calm since the moths didn't bother her last night. But tonight was different. Tonight the moth flew directly into her face. Poor baby flipped out. We calmed her down and talked about how she hurt that silly little moth with her big ole face. Later she was walking around with a piece of scotch tape across the middle of her face. I said, "Emma, why do you have that big piece of tape on your face?" She said, "In case the moth runs into me again. He'll hit the tape instead of my face!" Classic!

Boys played in a little bar in Athens last night!

Tyler, Alex, and Drew have played both separately and together in local coffee shops and at open mic nights, but this was their first gig in downtown Athens. There's lots of places down town that will book shows for young, budding artists. At this particular place they could choose to charge a cover and get paid, or wave the cover and get more exposure. They opted to wave the cover. I wasn't able to go and see them since it was a Tuesday night at 9:30 (a school night for the girls).  So I met them earlier that day and took them to lunch and just hung out with them. I finally got to see the loft where Drew lives. Very, very cool!!! They have an opening for another room mate and I think Alex is gonna move in there as soon as he gets a little more money saved. Anyway, Keith was able to go see the boys perform. He said he was so proud of them! He said they are really talented and seemed to be having fun just doing what they love! He said there was quite a crowd there and everyone seemed to enjoy their music. Oh, I almost forgot... everything they played had to be original. You couldn't play other artists' songs. That's pretty difficult to come up with a few hours of original music. They opened with Drew and Mikey playing a few of their original songs. Then Tyler did about 6-7 songs that he wrote. Then our Alex and Alex Duckworth jammed on their guitars. After that our Alex did a couple of his original songs. Then they closed with Tyler, Alex, and Alex D. playing together. (Tyler sang and played guitar, Alex played drums, and Alex D. played electric guitar). Wish I could have been there...

Hanging out in Athens with my boys...

Cool ally.... Perfect scene for their first album cover!

The boys will be performing at "Flickers" tonight

Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart.

On our quick trip to the beach recently, we met three adoptive families! Two of them adopted from China and one adopted domestically. I can't stop thinking about the conversation I had with the woman who adopted domestically. This woman and her husband adopted their great nieces. The birth father was put in prison about 4 years ago and this couple fought a 3 year battle and finally won custody of the younger niece who is now 5. Then eight months ago the mother died of a drug overdose and they got custody of the older sibling who just turned 10. The older sibling is angry and dealing with a great deal of grief. The adoptive mother is wondering why this child is not grateful to be in a safe and loving home. I just sat there and wanted to cry. I don't know all the circumstances in this situation. From what the woman told me, it sounded like the children weren't safe and their needs weren't being met. But even if this is the case and the children are now in a safe, loving environment... does the child not have a right to grieve? While she has gained some things, she has still lost so much... 
This may surprise you since I have two adopted children whom I adore and can't imagine my life without, but to me adoption is not the ideal situation. What would be ideal would be if fathers never went to prison and mothers didn't die of drug overdoses. What would be ideal is if China didn't have a one child policy and there was no poverty in the world and mothers had the choice to keep their children. Unfortunately we live in a broken world. The ideal situation is not always possible. So while adoption is better than the alternative, a child growing up without a family, we must remember that's only half of their story. The other half is very tragic. We can't pretend the other half doesn't exist. The other half is a wound that needs healing. Healing doesn't occur by ignoring a wound and pretending it isn't there. We need to acknowledge their losses and grieve with them as well as cherish all that we've found together. When we take in a child, we need to take every part of them, wounds and all.