Emotional week!!!

This has been an emotional week as my boys are moving out... I'm trying to be brave, but I'm not doing too well. I think sometimes people look their whole life for a their calling. I knew mine since I was a little girl. I've always wanted nothing more than to be a wife and a mother. My fairy tale came true when I married the man of my dreams and we had a bunch of children. The hard part now is letting the kids grow and go. Today was Ellie and Emma's first day of school. Ellie didn't even need me to walk her in. She has been anticipating this day all summer. She just loves school and loves her teachers. Before she got out of the car she said, "Mom, take care of Emma, OK?" She was worried because Emma's been nervous all week about starting school. So Emma and I headed toward her school. In a little quivering voice from the backseat, Emma said, "Mom, my legs are shaking." I said, "It's OK to be a little nervous on your first day of school. Everyone is." Then I told her about how much fun she'd have and reassured her I'd be there to pick her up right after school. She said, "I'll be scared when it gets dark." Dark? What is she talking about? It never dawned on me that she thought she'd stay overnight. She's been with me to take Ellie to school and pick her up a hundred times. Then I remembered earlier this week when I packed her backpack, I packed her a little pillow and blanket for nap time. She probably assumed she would be staying over night or maybe living there??? No wonder all week she's been saying, "Please don't leave me there". Poor baby... So I explained everything to her and told her how her day would go. Then she said, "Mom, I think I'm gonna cry." I said, "That's OK, you can cry." (cause it's gonna look silly if I'm the only one crying). We finally got there and I walked her in. She stood very stiff and blinked her eyes hard trying to hold back tears and then gave me that fake little brave smile. Oh my gosh, I almost lost it. I quickly gave her a big hug and told her how much I loved her and that I'd be back to pick her up very soon. Then I looked up at Miss Kim. I think she could tell I wasn't gonna keep it together much longer. She knelt down beside Emma and took over. As I walked out of the building I burst into tears. I felt like an idiot walking past all these young, brave moms. Gosh, you'd think by my 5th child I'd be able to hold it together. Maybe even do a celebratory dance as my last one started school. Nope, not me... It's 12:30 now. That means only 1 hour and 45 minutes before I leave to get the girls. WooHoo!!!