Tuesday, March 18, 2008
What day is it???
I'm confused on what day it is? I think it's Tuesday for us here??? Well, Emma is using the toilet now. I'm sure she'll love reading this when she gets older and I'll get it for sharing that! But it's pretty important, ya know? Now, she does use it backwards and I have to hold her over it, but hey, she goes! If this were a film, you would have heard sweet music playing this morning... We got to sleep in this morning after we all had a full night's sleep. Then I had a nice hot shower. Emma woke up happy and asked to go "nyow nyow" (potty). We all got dressed and went down for breakfast. We decided to take the stairs since Emma hates elevators. It's only 4 floors. Then we all had a pretty decent breakfast in the hotel. Emma sat in my lap and ate 2 bowls of congy (soupy rice). Then she noticed Ellie stand up to stretch, so she wanted to stand up and stretch. Then Ellie sat back in her chair, so Emma decided she wanted to sit in her own big girl chair. Then she wanted her congy and to eat it by herself. But she was so small in that big chair that her eyes weren't even above the table. So I tried to help her... she almost dumped the bowl in her lap. This is when the sweet music fades and the scary music starts... dundu dundu dundu (that's my imitation of the music from Jaws). Spoons, forks, bowl of congy all began to fly as she went in to a frenzy. So I said, "Keith, I'll meet you and Ellie in the room, I'm gonna take her back." Oh, the stares.... She was hitting me and kicking her feet and throwing herself backwards. The waiters came up and tried to help and offer her banana bread, which she tried to knock out of there hands. I quickly walked through the lobby to get on the elevator. It was like in those movies where the corridor seems to get longer and you can't get to the end. Unfortunately a business man was in the elevator and gave us the raised eyebrow. I had to put her down when the doors closed because I almost dropped her. She ran to the door as it started to open and her little fingers got caught. I quickly pulled them out. They didn't seem to be hurt, it just scared her and made her madder. I quickly got to the room and prayed that the key would work this time. Thankyou God, it did! We got in and I sat her on the bed and firmly told her "No". She is really testing her boundaries and trying to figure out her role and ours. She cried and cried on the bed and I gave her her space. Then she went back to the window and behind the table like she did the first day and the angry cry turned into a pitiful grieving cry as she called her mama (and she didn't mean me, she wanted her nanny mama). She grieved quite a while and when she calmed down I went over to her with tissue and dried her tears and she let me love on her. She's been soooo loving to us ever since then. Giving us tons of kisses and snuggling up close to us. It's almost like she just needed to confirm that she is safe and has boundaries. I'm sharing the good, bad, and the ugly, but I think all of this is part of bonding because I'm falling in love with her more deeply by the minute. I thought she was choking on a piece of candy this afternoon and Oh my gosh, my heart completely stopped. Ellie keeps saying, "I can't believe I have a little sister." She does this adorable little look where she cuts her eyes at you and then looks down and smiles all shy like. She has 101 expressions and mimics everything we do. She's so playful and jumps in and joins us whatever we're doing... stacking cups, airplane rides, hoarsy rides on Keith's back, tossing the beachball, coloring, she even pretends she's talking on her little play phone when she sees us on the phone. She dumps out whatever we put in her snack cup so we'll sing the cleanup song and all pick them up. If we are watching TV or on the computor, she will playfully try to get our attention by tickling us or throwing the ball or a cherio at us. Everything she does is a first for us so it's sort of like watching your daughter take her first step or say her first word. It's every emotion you can imagine. Today, our paperwork was canceled because someone filled out a form wrong. Poor Sarah has to deal with that today. Keith got to work-out and then came back and gave me a massage. Then Ellie laid down and wanted a back rub. When I started rubbing it, Emma came over and helped. It was so cute. Then Ellie faked a nap so Emma would lay down and take one. While Emma is sleeping, Ellie and Keith went to walk around the hotel. She spotted an indoor pool. Bummer we didn't bring our suits. Maybe we'll go get some if we can find them cheap somewhere. There's a park next to the hotel, so we're walking over there when Emma wakes up. Tomorrow we visit the orphanage. I'm pretty nervous how she'll handle it. And the drive is kind of long. We are thinking maybe just one of us go and the other stay with the girls. We'll see... But I know those of you that have there sweet babies there and are following this blog are dying for tomorrow to come. We'll do our best to love on your children and take pictures and video for you.
Monday, March 17, 2008
Gotcha Day!!!
Well, we got our sweet Emma! She is oh so absolutely precious and her smile makes us all melt! Things didn't exactly go as planned and we are just now able to blog, so I'll catch you up...
We thought we would check out of the hotel in LA and check our bags in the airport and maybe spend the day having a little fun in LA. But what actually happened was, we went to check our bags in (and we have a ton), and they wouldn't let us until 8pm. So we hung out at the airport for 10 hours pushing around our bags. Our flight was scheduled to leave at midnight, but it was late, so that meant would miss our flight from Guangzhou to our province. The flight to China was so painfully long, but Ellie did FANTASTIC in both the airport and the long flight. In fact she's been such a trooper this whole trip with barely any sleep. When we got into Guangzhou we waited in a long line and when we got to the front, we didn't have the cards we were supposed to fill out on the plane so we had to go fill them out and then get back in line. Since we missed our flight we had a 3 hour layover in Guangzhou. We pushed our bags around yet another airport and exchanged some money and ate at 10:00am at Mc D's. Of coarse our bodies are on GA time and it was 10pm. When we went to check our bags, China has different rules than the US, no 3oz liquids in carry ons. So we had to switch around some stuff and check a bag we don't usually check. All that to say, Keith's cell phone was in it and it didn't have a lock. When we got to Henan his phone was gone. We met our guide in Henan, but it wasn't the person we were told. Instead of Natalia, it was Sarah. She's wonderful and loves Ellie! When we got in the van she said that our child was waiting for us in the hotel. We said, "What? We haven't slept and we were told we wouldn't get her until tomorrow." She said, "No, today now." So we asked if we could at least take our bags up and freshen up. She said, "Sure! Go up and shower and unpack and get your gifts for your child and we'll meet you in the lobby in 15 minutes." That was about enough time for us to go to the bathroom and dig out the stuff for Emma. Sarah knocked on the door and said, "You come now and get your child, she's crying in the lobby." So we rushed down with video camera, camera and gifts and she was sitting on the couch with 2 women and a man and looking very scared. We walked up and she began to cry. We knelt down and they introduced us. She looked very angry and grabbed her nanny. We gave her her bunny blanket and her magnidoodle. She grabbed it and scooted closer to her nanny. Then we took out crayons and coloring book and stickers. She liked the stickers and put one on each hand. Her nanny put one on her forehead and she left it there. Then when the nanny told her to go to mommy, she cried and threw herself back. Then after some coaxing our guide told them to go and she picked her up. The nannies and director left and Emma screamed and attacked Sarah. She scratched, hit, and bit her and threw herself back and cried her little heart out. The only people she knew just walked out of her life. It was the saddest thing you've ever seen. Luckily, Ellie's adoption prepared us for just a moment like this. So this time we didn't panic, we just cried with her. Since Emma kept trying to run out of the hotel and escape, Sarah took her out front of the hotel and tried to calm her down, but it only escalated things. She pretty much beat her up again until Sarah put her down. Then Emma went in a little corner outside near the front door and screamed until she went hoarse... about 20 minutes. Sarah told me to go inside so she could calm her down, so I did. She told Ellie to stay out there with her. (Keith was inside watching all our stuff... camera, camcorder, Sarah's purse...) We watched out the window as Emma slapped Sarah in the face whenever she would go near. Our little girl is a fighter and a survivor. Finally she sent Ellie inside to get me. I came out and Sarah said, you pick her up. I think by this point Sarah was scared of her. Finally, I held my daughter for the first time in my arms. Everyone in the lobby that had been glued to our entire show watched as my daughter screamed her head off and the elevator doors closed. When we got upstairs, the room key didn't work again, (and still doesn't, and by the way neither does the air and it's pretty warm here to our surprise) so we stood in the hall as she continued to wail. People came out of their rooms to stare. In fact, people in China are not shy at all about staring and pointing at you. I walked her down the hall to a window to look out and she started swinging. She tried to hit me with the magnidoodle and when I kept ducking, so she threw it down and began hitting me in the head with both hands and pulling my hair. Keith grabbed her hands and tried to calm her. She just fell into a puddle of tears. It was truely pitiful. Then our guide came to get us and said they were able to open our room now so we could go in. I put Emma down near the window and first she tried to climb out. When she couldn't, she stood there and sobbed. If we went near her she'd swing. We let her have some space. Sarah said she needed copies of Ellie's passport which we didn't have, so she left to go get them made. I was kind of glad it was finally just us. We needed to get down to bonding business. I got out a ball and Keith and I rolled it back and forth (Ellie was with Sarah because all the crying upset her and made her sooo sad). As we rolled it back and forth we said "mommy" and "daddy"/ "baba" (chinese for daddy). Then I rolled it to Emma and said, "Guo Guo" (her Chinese name). She kicked it back and we clapped. By the time Ellie and Sarah got back, she was smiling and playing with us. They both said, "How did you get her to stop crying?" They were amazed. When she smiles the whole world lights up. She has a million dollar smile and an adorable giggle. Her little smile reminds me so much of Alison, Ellie's friend, and some of her expressions. She is afraid of everything we were told... dogs, cats, noise, dark, car rides she seems to be clostrophobic because she screams in terror when we ride in a car or get in an elevator and now she's afraid of toilets. Also, she does in fact, like we thought, have a strabisimis. They told us no, but she definately does. Her one little eye goes in. If this isn't something she'll outgrow, we know there are simple treatments or surgeries to fix this, so we'll look into it when we get home. Anyway, eventually we got around to a bath (which she sooooo badly needed). She didn't like it at all! But she seemed to feel relaxed afterwards. When we took the 3 layers of clothes she was wearing off, we saw a tiny little body with her ribs sticking out and her belly bloated. She was covered in bugbites and really itching. Then we saw what hung around her neck... a little glass heart with her and her nannies' picture on it. She put her hand around it and just rubbed it between her fingers. It was hanging on a red thread. If that doesn't make you cry... Anyway, at about 10:45 she finally fell asleep and we realized we hadn't eaten since 10:00 that morning. But our need for sleep outweighed our need for food.
This morning, was great until we had to go back to do paperwork and she saw her nannies. She got very weepy again. She does not like the hotel toilet and prefers squatters so she held it from 2:00pm one day until 3:00pm the next day and finally went in a squatty potty. She still won't go in the toilet. I have a pull up on her but she won't go in that either. Anyway, she was doing great with me until our guide Sarah kept picking her up and playing with her most of the day. She would hold her in the car and carry her everywhere. Then Emma began to scream when Keith or I tried to hold her again. Sarah said, oh look, she's calling me "mama" now. It felt so discouraging. I finally told Sarah that I needed to be the one to carry her and comfort her and do things for her so she will bond with me. I already have the language barrier as a disadvantage. She was very sweet and understood and backed off the rest of the day. By the end of the day, Emma began to bond with me and Keith and Ellie again. I must say after 3 births and 2 adoptions, pregnancy and childbirth are a breeze compared to the adoption process. So you may say, what in the world were you thinking. Well, let me tell you... once you get through the birthing process of adoption, the rewards are incredibly amazing. All of my children are gifts directly from our Father and I can't imagine my life without one of them. We've been calling her by her Chinese name and tagging on Emma until she gets used to it. So we call her Emma Guo Guo. Tonight we've been playing ball and stacking cups in the room... those two things and cherios are absolute lifesavers!!! Ellie is so protective of Emma already and seems like she's matured over night taking on the role of big sister. Today she said, "I can't believe I'm a big sister, mom." She misses her brothers and asked if we could go buy them gifts today. Oh yeah, I tasted my first sheep today. Keith wasn't so brave. Sarah said, "everyone loves it, just try it." I felt brave and tried it. Note to self, don't try to be brave in China. We ordered mama mia's pizza. So yummy!!!!! I'll let you know if I get sick tomorrow from it. Pray we don't eat anything that makes us sick. We are having a great night tonight. Emma is talking up a storm, in Chinese of coarse. The lady that helped us with our paperwork was amazed that Emma spoke so well at her age and understood everything she said and responded correctly. Well, I'm rambling now. I realize I'm all over the place with this post, but since we couldn't blog for a few days and I'm still sleep deprived, I'm trying to remember everything. For my friends that will be coming to Henan after us. I hope I didn't scare you, just keeping it real. The first few days is always the hardest. It gets a little better everyday, and everyone has a different experience. By the way, did I mention Emma is sooooooooooooooo precious! Well, I gotta go call my family. I already miss them. It's 8:30pm here. This time it's a 12 hour time change instead of 13 hour because we just had daylight savings in the US. We'll post pictures later if we can!
We thought we would check out of the hotel in LA and check our bags in the airport and maybe spend the day having a little fun in LA. But what actually happened was, we went to check our bags in (and we have a ton), and they wouldn't let us until 8pm. So we hung out at the airport for 10 hours pushing around our bags. Our flight was scheduled to leave at midnight, but it was late, so that meant would miss our flight from Guangzhou to our province. The flight to China was so painfully long, but Ellie did FANTASTIC in both the airport and the long flight. In fact she's been such a trooper this whole trip with barely any sleep. When we got into Guangzhou we waited in a long line and when we got to the front, we didn't have the cards we were supposed to fill out on the plane so we had to go fill them out and then get back in line. Since we missed our flight we had a 3 hour layover in Guangzhou. We pushed our bags around yet another airport and exchanged some money and ate at 10:00am at Mc D's. Of coarse our bodies are on GA time and it was 10pm. When we went to check our bags, China has different rules than the US, no 3oz liquids in carry ons. So we had to switch around some stuff and check a bag we don't usually check. All that to say, Keith's cell phone was in it and it didn't have a lock. When we got to Henan his phone was gone. We met our guide in Henan, but it wasn't the person we were told. Instead of Natalia, it was Sarah. She's wonderful and loves Ellie! When we got in the van she said that our child was waiting for us in the hotel. We said, "What? We haven't slept and we were told we wouldn't get her until tomorrow." She said, "No, today now." So we asked if we could at least take our bags up and freshen up. She said, "Sure! Go up and shower and unpack and get your gifts for your child and we'll meet you in the lobby in 15 minutes." That was about enough time for us to go to the bathroom and dig out the stuff for Emma. Sarah knocked on the door and said, "You come now and get your child, she's crying in the lobby." So we rushed down with video camera, camera and gifts and she was sitting on the couch with 2 women and a man and looking very scared. We walked up and she began to cry. We knelt down and they introduced us. She looked very angry and grabbed her nanny. We gave her her bunny blanket and her magnidoodle. She grabbed it and scooted closer to her nanny. Then we took out crayons and coloring book and stickers. She liked the stickers and put one on each hand. Her nanny put one on her forehead and she left it there. Then when the nanny told her to go to mommy, she cried and threw herself back. Then after some coaxing our guide told them to go and she picked her up. The nannies and director left and Emma screamed and attacked Sarah. She scratched, hit, and bit her and threw herself back and cried her little heart out. The only people she knew just walked out of her life. It was the saddest thing you've ever seen. Luckily, Ellie's adoption prepared us for just a moment like this. So this time we didn't panic, we just cried with her. Since Emma kept trying to run out of the hotel and escape, Sarah took her out front of the hotel and tried to calm her down, but it only escalated things. She pretty much beat her up again until Sarah put her down. Then Emma went in a little corner outside near the front door and screamed until she went hoarse... about 20 minutes. Sarah told me to go inside so she could calm her down, so I did. She told Ellie to stay out there with her. (Keith was inside watching all our stuff... camera, camcorder, Sarah's purse...) We watched out the window as Emma slapped Sarah in the face whenever she would go near. Our little girl is a fighter and a survivor. Finally she sent Ellie inside to get me. I came out and Sarah said, you pick her up. I think by this point Sarah was scared of her. Finally, I held my daughter for the first time in my arms. Everyone in the lobby that had been glued to our entire show watched as my daughter screamed her head off and the elevator doors closed. When we got upstairs, the room key didn't work again, (and still doesn't, and by the way neither does the air and it's pretty warm here to our surprise) so we stood in the hall as she continued to wail. People came out of their rooms to stare. In fact, people in China are not shy at all about staring and pointing at you. I walked her down the hall to a window to look out and she started swinging. She tried to hit me with the magnidoodle and when I kept ducking, so she threw it down and began hitting me in the head with both hands and pulling my hair. Keith grabbed her hands and tried to calm her. She just fell into a puddle of tears. It was truely pitiful. Then our guide came to get us and said they were able to open our room now so we could go in. I put Emma down near the window and first she tried to climb out. When she couldn't, she stood there and sobbed. If we went near her she'd swing. We let her have some space. Sarah said she needed copies of Ellie's passport which we didn't have, so she left to go get them made. I was kind of glad it was finally just us. We needed to get down to bonding business. I got out a ball and Keith and I rolled it back and forth (Ellie was with Sarah because all the crying upset her and made her sooo sad). As we rolled it back and forth we said "mommy" and "daddy"/ "baba" (chinese for daddy). Then I rolled it to Emma and said, "Guo Guo" (her Chinese name). She kicked it back and we clapped. By the time Ellie and Sarah got back, she was smiling and playing with us. They both said, "How did you get her to stop crying?" They were amazed. When she smiles the whole world lights up. She has a million dollar smile and an adorable giggle. Her little smile reminds me so much of Alison, Ellie's friend, and some of her expressions. She is afraid of everything we were told... dogs, cats, noise, dark, car rides she seems to be clostrophobic because she screams in terror when we ride in a car or get in an elevator and now she's afraid of toilets. Also, she does in fact, like we thought, have a strabisimis. They told us no, but she definately does. Her one little eye goes in. If this isn't something she'll outgrow, we know there are simple treatments or surgeries to fix this, so we'll look into it when we get home. Anyway, eventually we got around to a bath (which she sooooo badly needed). She didn't like it at all! But she seemed to feel relaxed afterwards. When we took the 3 layers of clothes she was wearing off, we saw a tiny little body with her ribs sticking out and her belly bloated. She was covered in bugbites and really itching. Then we saw what hung around her neck... a little glass heart with her and her nannies' picture on it. She put her hand around it and just rubbed it between her fingers. It was hanging on a red thread. If that doesn't make you cry... Anyway, at about 10:45 she finally fell asleep and we realized we hadn't eaten since 10:00 that morning. But our need for sleep outweighed our need for food.
This morning, was great until we had to go back to do paperwork and she saw her nannies. She got very weepy again. She does not like the hotel toilet and prefers squatters so she held it from 2:00pm one day until 3:00pm the next day and finally went in a squatty potty. She still won't go in the toilet. I have a pull up on her but she won't go in that either. Anyway, she was doing great with me until our guide Sarah kept picking her up and playing with her most of the day. She would hold her in the car and carry her everywhere. Then Emma began to scream when Keith or I tried to hold her again. Sarah said, oh look, she's calling me "mama" now. It felt so discouraging. I finally told Sarah that I needed to be the one to carry her and comfort her and do things for her so she will bond with me. I already have the language barrier as a disadvantage. She was very sweet and understood and backed off the rest of the day. By the end of the day, Emma began to bond with me and Keith and Ellie again. I must say after 3 births and 2 adoptions, pregnancy and childbirth are a breeze compared to the adoption process. So you may say, what in the world were you thinking. Well, let me tell you... once you get through the birthing process of adoption, the rewards are incredibly amazing. All of my children are gifts directly from our Father and I can't imagine my life without one of them. We've been calling her by her Chinese name and tagging on Emma until she gets used to it. So we call her Emma Guo Guo. Tonight we've been playing ball and stacking cups in the room... those two things and cherios are absolute lifesavers!!! Ellie is so protective of Emma already and seems like she's matured over night taking on the role of big sister. Today she said, "I can't believe I'm a big sister, mom." She misses her brothers and asked if we could go buy them gifts today. Oh yeah, I tasted my first sheep today. Keith wasn't so brave. Sarah said, "everyone loves it, just try it." I felt brave and tried it. Note to self, don't try to be brave in China. We ordered mama mia's pizza. So yummy!!!!! I'll let you know if I get sick tomorrow from it. Pray we don't eat anything that makes us sick. We are having a great night tonight. Emma is talking up a storm, in Chinese of coarse. The lady that helped us with our paperwork was amazed that Emma spoke so well at her age and understood everything she said and responded correctly. Well, I'm rambling now. I realize I'm all over the place with this post, but since we couldn't blog for a few days and I'm still sleep deprived, I'm trying to remember everything. For my friends that will be coming to Henan after us. I hope I didn't scare you, just keeping it real. The first few days is always the hardest. It gets a little better everyday, and everyone has a different experience. By the way, did I mention Emma is sooooooooooooooo precious! Well, I gotta go call my family. I already miss them. It's 8:30pm here. This time it's a 12 hour time change instead of 13 hour because we just had daylight savings in the US. We'll post pictures later if we can!
Friday, March 14, 2008
We made it to LA!!!
We'll we made it to LA! Ellie was soooooooooo excited about the plane ride. In fact she could hardly keep still. The man in front of us was not too happy with his seat placement! Ellie loved the window that opened and closed and the tray on the back of the man's seat in front of her that opened and closed and the fact that she could control the lighting and airconditioning. Oh, and she met a little friend sitting behind her. She kept forgetting her name so she just called her "friend". When the two of them started giggling, they could hardly stop. I did what I could to curb the excitement and settle them down, but began to notice everyone around us were ordering drinks one after another. Hmmm.... As we got off the plane, I apologized to the man in front of us and he said, oh, I was fine after my 4th vodka and orange juice. We leave for China tonight at midnight!!!! Maybe she'll sleep most of the way?????
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Tomorrow we leave for LA!
Wow! What a whirlwind it's been. We're exhausted just from packing and making all the preparations to leave town for 2 weeks; and we haven't even begun the first leg of our trip. Oh but for the joy set before us... It will all be worth it when we get to wrap our arms around our sweet baby girl!!! We've been anticipating this moment for almost a year. The few little pictures we have of her are all worn out from us looking at them. I wonder what she'll think of us? Will she be afraid? I would be if some strangers that spoke a different language and looked completely different than anyone I've ever seen took me away from everything familiar. It almost seems cruel... Though we've been longing for this moment, for her it will be very scary and very sad. But as we lavish her with love, the saddness will begin to drift away a little more every day. She'll begin to feel for the first time what every child on this earth should feel, what it's like to belong in a forever family.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
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