Tuesday, October 16, 2018

Another writer has emerged from our family...

Emma is in 7th grade and for a class assignment, had to write a list of belief's. At the top of the page was God. When I read her entire list, I got chills. She is wise beyond her years; an old soul for sure... 


I Believe…

In god
In living in the present 
Love is powerful
Love is in everything
Fighting should stop
People should NOT smoke
You should follow your heart
People should be more generous by helping the hurt, poor, wounded, and lost
People should respect their ecosystem 
The world is way more beautiful than what most people view
Animals are just as important as humans 
Everything/everyone should be respected and treated kind
Music is a way of expressing yourself and connecting with others
Everything happens for a reason
Cherish what you have because you never know how long it/they will remain with you in your life 
You can do anything you desire
Family is not based on bloodline
Be nice to everyone, you never know what they are going through

After she made the list, her teacher had her write a paper on ONE of her beliefs. It was supposed to be a 500 word essay, but it turned into more of a 1500 word essay. I'll share that here.


Emma Nicholson - I Believe

I believe people should think before they decide to smoke. Research shows that smoking kills more than 5 million people each year. Think of how many loved ones vanish from people that care so much about them. Think of how it could be someone you care deeply about. No one wants to ever lose a loved one. It is also difficult to move forward without thinking of how things could be different and how things could have changed to prevent it. Trust me… I know how that feels. 

I love my grandma tremendously. Every time I would visit her, we would connect like glue. Being so close made it so hard for her to leave me. Her smile was contagious to everyone. Her hair hit just above her shoulders, with a purple headband holding back her thick grey hair. I loved her brown eyes that were so pure and honest. Her hugs felt just like a cozy blanket wrapped tightly around you. Her personality came with a little bit of sass, but she was also loving, caring, and she never judged anyone in a way you couldn’t imagine. 

She's smoked for a while-ever since my mom was a kid. This never bothered me and I never questioned it. As soon as I saw her out on the porch, I would dart to the door and join her. We would talk for hours about our day, even sometimes deeper than intended. I would sit all day on the porch, snuggled in a warm blanket, right next to her side. This is how I imagined it would be, forever, even in my adulthood. This was perfect, until things changed….

Having so much fun at a sleepover, playing games, running around and staying up late, just like any other sleepover. Just after we finished a big bowl of hot yummy spaghetti, we raced down the basement and picked out a movie to watch-Ratatouille! Sitting quietly, we enjoyed the movie while also enjoying some homemade popcorn.
Towards the middle of the movie, my friend’s mom got a call and had to step outside of the room. I looked at my friend confused and worried, and all I could faintly hear was someone crying on the phone. Was it someone I knew? Is someone hurt? My friend paused the movie while we both sat in silence. Her mom came in with a worrisome look on her face, spoke very calm. “Emma, it was your mom on the phone. Something happened to your grandma, and you have to leave. Your parents are driving over to pick you up. They are going take you to the hospital with them to meet the rest of your family, so you need to pack your belongings.” My heart sank to the bottom of my stomach. I was stunned and broke out into a cold sweat, shaking. 
Once I finished packing all of my clothes and items into my small bag, my friend and I sat in front of the door. We both waited for my parents to arrive and sat there with her dogs surrounding us. I had my head buried in my knees, thinking and hoping my grandma was okay. 

When my parents arrived, I hugged my friend and her mom goodbye and ran to the car. Before my dad drove off, my friend came running out with a gift and gave it to me. Seeing her and her mom standing in the driveway waving, I waved back. Everyone in the car was silently crying, and that’s how it was for the rest of the drive.
I ran into the hospital, crashing into everyone's arms… We went into the waiting room while my mom and her sisters went to go see my grandma. It was a long wait… I had to sit on the floor because there weren’t any more seats left, but I didn’t mind. My eyes burned from crying and I felt sleepy. I soon dozed off, laying on the floor. I woke up to my dad shaking me awake. My eyelids slowly lifted and my vision finally went into focus after I got up. “Honey, it’s time to leave. Everyone is saying goodbye to grandma,” my dad spoke softly. This was the first time I have ever seen him filled with so much sorrow. “Where’s mom?” I questioned. “She’s in the room with grandma. She’ll be staying there for the night, but you’ll see her tomorrow.” My dad opened the door for me to walk in. As I walked in, I saw her sleeping. There were tubes everywhere but I bet she didn’t mind. I wanted to talk to her, but I couldn’t. What happened to her? Is she okay? What caused this? I want to talk to her. Will she ever wake up? All kinds of emotions built up inside of me, but I tried to keep it together for everyone. My mom explained everything that happened to me before I left. “Grandma smoked for a while. One day, grandma was rushed to the hospital, and the doctors found out that she had a brain aneurysm. She had to be in ICU for a long time, but continued to heal. They patched up her brain-put coil in her brain-so nothing severe would happen. This only lasted a year. Grandma soon decided to do the surgery again, so this helped her live for an additional year. Soon enough, she stopped because the surgery was too traumatic and painful. This caused her to experience a severe heart attack, leaving only 25% of her heart functioning. She soon became very weak and would get tired more often. While you were at your sleepover, I got a call from my sister that grandma suffered a severe seizure from her brain aneurysm. This was more severe than the heart attack. She can’t talk, move, or wake up. The doctors said they want to get her comfortable.” When I heard this, I wanted to break down, but I didn't. I wanted to stay strong for my mom and my grandma. 

I arrived at my cousin’s house, and stayed in their room for the night. I continued to stay there for almost 4 days, not seeing my mom. The last time I saw her was when I left the hospital. This put an emotional toll on me, causing me to have intervals of sadness and anger. I missed my grandma already. Lying awake at night, I worried. I worried if she was okay. I worried and wondered if she was hurting. Most of all, I worried if she would ever wake up. 

The day I finally got to see my mom, I felt better. We cried together because we knew my grandma was getting worse and worse… I got to see my grandma once more before we left to go back home for Christmas-tomorrow was Christmas day. The whole time we stayed that morning, we played her favorite songs and talked to her. I never knew if she heard anything I said, but I had a feeling she did. I gave her a kiss on the forehead goodbye, wondering if it was the last time I ever got to see her again. As we walked into the cold crisp day, I got out my headphones to listen to music. I knew it would get my mind off of things. 

Christmas day arrived, and it was so much fun! My sister and I were setting up our new playstation when my mom came into the room. She had red eyes from crying and said, “Grandma passed away this morning. They said she was comfortable, but she couldn’t make it.” It stung like a huge boulder hit me hard in the stomach. I was in the stage of shock, not wanting it to be reality. Not in the mood for games anymore, I ran upstairs and stayed up in my room for a while. I thought for a long time, but I needed it.

I still think of how things could be different. I want to send out a message to tons of people that smoking can damage people. Most of all, they can damage families and their hearts. Who would ever want someone’s heart to ache of pain from a loss? It feels as if something you have loved so much and so long has gotten ripped away from you unexpectedly. I believe people should not ever have to go through experiences, such as mine, because of smoking. Sadly, lots of families lose loved ones because of the effects of smoking. My biggest question is, if my grandma didn’t smoke, would she still be here? Not a day goes on when I don’t think of my grandma smiling at me while we were together. We baked, read, laughed, and danced together. Those were the best times that I’ll never forget.

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